Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


it's been a crap week. who thought i could get so wrapped up in a girl... oh wait, i did.

i've been sleeping a lot... depression will do that to ya. or maybe sleeping causes depression? i don't know... i wonder if bears get depressed in the winter. just another one of lifes burning mysteries.

so here is a dream i had... in full technicolor.

i was sleeping during the middle of the day. the lot was filtering through the blinds, making my head hot. i couldn't find a comfortable position. either the blanket was stifling or the sun was in my eyes.

people were in and out of my room. they were making muffled grunting sounds. i sat up in bed and at the door were a little platoon of children. they wore manic grimaces that signalled their intent to eat my brains. all of them were dressed in cute little outfits like the kind that immigrant children wear in sepia colored pictures from ellis island. they were all bows and hats and little shiny black shoes. i couldn't see any weapons, but i knew they didn't need any to hurt me, to rip me apart and feast on my marrow.

without getting up, i reached under the tangled, twisted mess of blankets covering my lower body. i pulled out three blue pearlescent spheres of alien technology. i pressed little buttons on each of them, making them glow with a scintillating blue energy. they pulsed and swirled. jagged arcs of lighting leapt from them making my vision go spotty.

the children at the doorway didn't move. they stood and threatened me with their presence. i tossed all three plasma grenades at them at once. the grenades stuck to some of the kids like spitballs to a chalkboard.... then exploded! little fucker went flying everywhere. some down the hall into the living room, another into john's room and some were just blow to a fine pink paste. it was lovely; it was satisfying.

there was still one child left. on chubby little girl. she remained in place, inexplicably unharmed by my inexplicable grenades. let's explicate shall we? i climbed out of bed, down to the floor and toward the door. the closer i approached to the doorthe taller it, and the girl, became. soon she was an enormous whale of a little cunt. i thought she was going to smoosh me. she reveled in the power that her relative size gave her. she laughed.

then, i became really desperately angry and i was so mad that i grew larger until i was my normal size compared to the little chubster. so i put the bitch in a headlock and punched her in the face til i woke up.

the end.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


amateur high speed photography... link goes to flickr


bored, lonely, full of maggots...

well... not that last one... but i certainly am bored, with no friends to really hang out with.

why so depressed/morose?

my girlfriend started school this week. school is about 500 miles north of here. it's a tough adjustment. we have spent nearly every day together for the last 3 months. we've been inseparable. it's been a very hot and heavy relationship; we're very wrapped up in each other. now that we're apart, each of us is pretty depressed. we agreed (i think) that we could date other people; neither of us is quite ready to date yet (what's with all the semicolons?).

i want to go visit her, but i'm not sure if it's a good idea. it would probably make us both feel better in the short-term, and the sex would be incredible; however, i think it would just drag out this separation depression we're experiencing. GAH! i don't know what to do.

anyway, on to other topics, because if i keep talking about this i will jump out a window; which would be embarrasing because my work has only one floor.

the rave shut down by a swat team in utah with assault rifle and police dogs was pretty ridiculous (previous post).

i read a really cool short comic by warren ellis here (link's on the lefthand side)

john, emmett and i went to the burbank toys'r'us and bought a bunch of board games. there were some tough choices as we were all pitching in for the game(s) and i am poor as all fuck. we narrowed it down to risk, monopoly and connect four. i would like to point out that choosing between those three games is really like choosing between about 20 games. there are untold different versions of monopoly and risk. there's star wars risk, risk 2012, and even risk godstorm (what the fuck?!). monopoly is even more of a licensing whore; it seems that there's a monopoly game for every animated feature or over-licensed movie to come out in the last 50 years. for example: there were shrek, disney, lord of the rings, star wars, deluxe, and 70th anniversary edition monopolys on the shelves at our toys'r'us.

fortunately, our decision was made much easier when emmet rememebered that he had the lord of the rings version of monopoly we decided that connect four was a must have (go for it... connect four!) and i talked john and emmett into getting the collectors tin version of risk, 'cause the tin is big, round and shiny (i'm retarded). then, as we're about to head out (after i bump into lily's friend lennon, who works there) someone (john i think) sees a 3 pack of generic games with something very much like connect four called "inline". it also came with "3d snakes and ladders" and a 'trouble' ripoff whose name i can't recall at the moment. the generic 3 pack cost less than just one connect four, so we purchased that instead. i also bought a pack of green and tan army men for $1.06. they are currently battling to the death on my computer desk at home.

in other news:

greg called last night and told john that he was moving in today. in typical greg fashion he said "i probably should have given you more notice huh?". yes greg, you should have. that's ok though. it just means that he gets to ride the sofa bed until the end of the month when we switch places.

also, i'm doing a piss-poor job of patching the holes in my door. i'll suspend final judgement 'til i've sanded and painted it, but it doesn't look good.

lastly: it seems a sad commentary on my priorities that i can write two thick paragraphs on buying board games, but my personal/relationship woes elicit barely that much.

this is pretty ridiculous

Utah police beat up, use tear gas on, ravers

a friend of mine posted something about this on myspace... i don't know if she was actually at the event or not, but she is a raver.

if i had been there i would call every tv station i knew and try to get on the air.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

hi-o silver...

i lost my silver card case thingy...

last used it on monday.

i've looked everywhere; in my house, in my car.... i have no idea where it is. last time i used it was on monday. it had my atm, my license, social security card and my ralph's card.

so now i have to call every place i've been and see if they have it.


if you've seen it... let me know.


i hate when i lose things.

UPDATE: found it, but i lost my cell phone. and this morning i briefly lost my keys. the fuck?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

out on the street...

well... not yet.

soon maybe.

a week and a half ago, i got a reply from my rental application saying that i couldn't live in my apartment any longer. never mind that i've already been living there and paying rent for 9 months. forget the fact that we have a co-signer with good credit who is willing to sign for me. they want me out of there because my car caused a row with the neighbors a few months back. like they've never seen the word 'cock' on a car before.

so my options are:

1. pretend to move out while someone else moves into my room and i stay on the couch.
pros: lowers my rent considerably, which is good, cause i am poor.
cons: no privacy. which may not be so bad, since the gf is moving away pretty soon. i'll just masturbate when no one is home.

2. get my own place
pros: privacy. and, i can be as slovenly as i like.
cons: 1 br's are more expensive than what i'm paying now and usually shittier.

3. get a 4br place for all of us, including the new roommate.
pros: everyone gets their own bedroom... yay!
cons: everyone would have to move, and from what i've seen, a 4 br is going to cost more per person than our current apartment.

4. live on the street (or in my car)
pros: that freewheeling hobo lifestyle
cons: head lice, no cable.

5. move back to the jerZ
pros: lower cost of living. lots of drinking buddies.
cons: poor quality of life (i.e. the villas). poor future prospects.

i think i'm going to wait around til october to decide exactly what i'm going to do (or not do). i'm strongly tempted to just pack my shit up and go rent a cheap place in the villas or wildwood or someplace, but i don't think i have exhausted my opportunites out here. los angeles sucks big dick for the most part (yeah... i know i'm eloquent... shut it), but it still has a lot to offer (and the girls are of a higher quality than the jerz [though philly girls hold an attraction]).

whatever... i'm going to go read 20 comic books in one sitting.

Thursday, July 28, 2005


nothing makes a good weekend like mid 80's expressionist art and enormous, strap your balls to a V2 rocket roller-fucking-coasters. it didn't hurt either that i got to do both with a girl who is cultured but not conceited and hedonistic but not so much that she doesn't make a great house-guest.


the first thing that the strokes and scrawls of a basquiat conjures in my mind is an old episode of law & order. probably because those old episodes are all that a callow fuck like myself knows about the new york of that era. (actually, those episodes are from the late 80's) unlike the new episodes, new york looks old, dirty and ready to fuck you with a knife for a gram of crack. everyone is either a working stiff, homeless, addicted to drugs or so rich that you want to fucking choke them with their thousand dollar suit. almost all of those old episodes (or the good ones anyway) dealt with racism in some way. they made new york out to be a prime candidate for the first battle ground of a new civil war. also, all the cases were solved in one hour. miraculous.

it's probably points out too well how little i know about art or the new york art scene in the 80's when i compare jean michel basquiat's work to a long running cop drama. but hey, i'm a child of a cathode ray god (i wonder if plasma screen would have made me smarter) and that's the first thing i thought of. what really struck me after that first comparison was the raw emotion, the rage, that he was trying to lay down on canvas. i tried to reserve judgement about what i saw to be a lack of skill in his work, though i couldn't help thinking "i could paint a better figure holding the brush in my ass". what i knew i couldn't do however, was evoke the feelings of a young black man living in the whoever-owns-the-most-wins 1980's where the chasm between the rich and poor, black and white, seemed greater than ever. i couldn't possibly bring whatever artistic talents i have to bear on hundreds of years of oppression, slavery, bigotry and violence against black people (i wonder how much he knew of his haitian ancestors uprising?). but, basquiat does just that with his almost childlike scrawls and figures.

one thing i didn't like very much was his (over)use of the written word. some pieces contain more words than anything else. some of them used the words to create a texture and feeling, but most of the time i was just distracted by them-- i have a compulsion to read everything i see. the words were most effective when they were used sparingly or seemed to title the work with a fatalistic humor, or when they became a design element and not something that needed to be read. i did however like the symbology that ran through his work, the most prominent being the crown, which made his seemingly downtrodden gutter-trash into a pharoah. i most liked his work when it was all color and form with no words to distract me.

i should show some basquiat to my little brother. then he could see that even he has a chance to hang in a museum one day (he just has a to be a self-righteous son-of-a-bitch).

six flags

i was read to be severely disappointed at six flags. i had pictured myself standing in a line so long that i actually would have to leave my house and drive away from the park to get to the end. i would be surrounded by mewling, snotty, sticky little fuckers who would incessantly whine and nag their blank-eyed, overweight, fanny pack wearing mother for two hour while the line slowly crept up the the ride. luckily it wasn't all that bad. in fact, it was awesome.

six flags has way too many cool rides. we were there for six hours and we only managed to ride about 75% of the rollercoasters. we rode 8 coasters in all, but i'll just give the highlights:

superman: the escape. i'm not sure what's with the weird subtitle on this ride. what exactly is it an escape from? krypton? the fortress of solitude? no idea. despite it's stupid name, superman is great. it's one of those linear induction coasters, so i knew that it starts off really fast. the batman and robin ride at the six flags in jersey is like that. but, i had no idea how fast. it's the only roller coaster i've ever been on that made me scream in the first second it started. the acceleration was incredible, as was shooting straight up into the air at the end of the track and feeling a moment of weightlessness before plummeting back down backwards. the thing sounds like a fucking jet plane take off from the outside.

goliath. holy. fuck. another one with a dumb name. it's big... let's name it goliath. but it's still a great coaster. according the announcement (which played about 6 times before we got on the ride) goliath has a 255 ft. drop and reaches speeds of 85mph. when you're up there though it feels more like a drop of "fucking shit we're gonna die!" ft. and speeds of "my intestines are in the parking lot"ph. it combines the best aspects of the great, big wooden coasters with and the sleeker metal coasters. hell yeah!


Saturday, July 23, 2005


(note: i need to modify this blog so it looks all fruity like i prefer)
(also: capital letters are for pussies and the british)

i just finished viewing the unaired global frequency pilot, based on the comic of the same name by warren ellis (which i pirated using a torrent client). it was very good. how good? it's comparable to the first couple of seasons of alias. if you want the hollywood pitch for it: it's mission:impossible meets alias meets flashmob. it's so good, in part, because of how close the creators stuck to the source material. the comic was already written like a one hour tv script (45 min. with commercials). the first issue ends with a two page denuoment (how do i add accent marks?) with the title and credits. i would love to see it made into a regular series (help out fuckers). each story in the series is self-contained, so it lends itself nicely to an episodic format (not to mention the potential for a bevy of guest stars).

what i found most interesting after reading the entire series is that the overarching theme is that, in general, our ability to responsibly handle new technology does not keep apace of the creation of such new technologies. it's also about how our insular governments, corporations, and intelligence groups (cia, nsa, etc.) are a potential threat because their secretive nature and acces to resources allows them to create potential doomsday devices with out anyone (even members of their own government or agency) knowing about it. the only way to combat these threats is a 21st century crisis team like the GB, that eschews the old organizational model in favor of one that's more like the open source software of counter-intelligence and rescue (though running through central data network of aleph and the leadership of miranda zero). the GB is a portrayal of what something like flashmob could be if it wasn't all twits staging random pillow fights.

this brings me to my next point... i was having lunch with my uncle dave, who's in from out of town with his gf, my cousin rana, and my girlfriend at a thai place in glendale. that's not the important part though. i was sitting at the table, facing the door, eating my pad thai noodles and staring emptily at a man standing by the cash register. then something snapped me out of my inattention; he was wearing on of those wireless bluetooth earpieces. i had a moment of what i could only describe as techno-shock or future shock.

i have seen those earpieces before but, for some reason, i was struck by how commonplace such an amazing technology had become. thoughts about modern cyborgs, the vast amounts of information available at my fingertips when i turn on my computer and the absolute irrelevancy of all of it washed over me. i've often complained to my peers (drunken layabouts), that when i was in elementary school, my scholastic reader told me that by the year 2000 we would all have flying cars. that was nearly 20 years ago and people are still driving gas-guzzling shitboxes. where is my goddamn flying fucking car!!! (<- extra exclamation points means i'm pissed)

why is it, that when these new technologies are developed, instead of using them to create a better human race, we turn them into very expensive toys? this chubby, slightly vacant looking guy i saw in the thai restaurant has more computing and information exchange power resting in his fuzzy little ear than the entire world had 40 years ago, and i don't think that will ever cross his mind. he probably uses just to say "what's up?" to his friends or text his internet buddies to plan their next LAN party.

anyway, this was shaping up to be a much longer rant, but i have to head home from work, and i don't feel like saving this for later.

so, my point is:

we have amazing technologies which could create, if not a utopian... then maybe a better world. so think about that the next time you turn on your pc, or flip open your cell phone or take a digital picture or plug your usb vagina into your imac. think about what your toys could be doing if they weren't just toys.

soul sucking slugs

i woke up at 6:47am. no alarm, no outside noise, no ice cold water splashed in my face. my body now wakes me up at this ungodly hour because i have been waking up before 7am for more than three months now. i hate it. i hate it so much that i stayed in bed another half hour just to spite myself.

i'm at work now. i turned on my computer (it's actually someone else's computer, but he's out of town) and the first thing i notice is that my boss' username is on the log-in field. i open 'er up and then i notice that the history window is open in firefox. i guess the ol' manager has noticed that i spend very little time doing my work here. that's not to say i don't get all my work done, because i do, it's just that i only get the minimum done. i would be more worried about the fact that my employer has taken notice of my contrary-to-the-employee-handbook activities, but i don't really care. all i have to do is last three more weeks and i can apply for medical and dental benefits with motion picture health plan. then i'm going to get a new hip for $28, just 'cause i can. so... i guess it's time to be a little more sneaky in my internet roamings. and i should probably remove my bit-torrent client from the computer too (i really want that pilot episode of global frequency though).

speaking of warren ellis (who is a hairy man), i subscribed to his e-mail list and i got the first message yesterday:
bad signal

Something that just occurred to me: is this list pretty much
US-Style-centric? Are there a lot of manga readers on the

Are there (broad definition) "manga-style" artists on the list?

Just curious. With the various twists and turns my work
has taken within the American business over the last
several years, and with the turns the US business has taken
in the last 18 months (some of which are only just becoming
visible to those outside the business), I kinda wonder who's

-- W
to which i replied:

i love mangos.
especially mango salsa on fish.


when he sent out the list of responses... mine was numero uno! suck on that all you people who sent real answers! see, you don't have to try hard to be successful. just be a wise-ass like me.

Friday, July 22, 2005


bloggity blog blog.

i only got this blog because i am now obsessed with all things that google will give me. google earth rules. i'm just waiting for the new google blowjob. GBJ will be the best thing on the internet ever.

my old blog is over at


oh, i'm going into the t-shirt business. i've had one customer so far. the money is just rollin' in.

i'm still looking for that big bag of money (an idea that i stole from alex d. thomson). i'm keeping an eye out though, for that big sac with the green dollar sign on it.

anyway... i've been listening to a whole lot of public radio, mostly because i broke most of my cds and i don't have computer speakers (send me some). i like npr... it makes me calm... it's a little like weed, except it doesn't make me crave flavor blasted goldfish and wawa peach iced tea.

i slept like a baby last night (for about 4 hours), and i had a dream. i can only remember snippets (as is usual with dreams). but, i distinctly remember that i dreamed that the london police found that one of the main ingredients in the tube and bus bombs was artificial coffee creamer. i hear that shit burns like a motherfucker. juan valdez pwns my dreams.