Tuesday, August 30, 2005


it's been a crap week. who thought i could get so wrapped up in a girl... oh wait, i did.

i've been sleeping a lot... depression will do that to ya. or maybe sleeping causes depression? i don't know... i wonder if bears get depressed in the winter. just another one of lifes burning mysteries.

so here is a dream i had... in full technicolor.

i was sleeping during the middle of the day. the lot was filtering through the blinds, making my head hot. i couldn't find a comfortable position. either the blanket was stifling or the sun was in my eyes.

people were in and out of my room. they were making muffled grunting sounds. i sat up in bed and at the door were a little platoon of children. they wore manic grimaces that signalled their intent to eat my brains. all of them were dressed in cute little outfits like the kind that immigrant children wear in sepia colored pictures from ellis island. they were all bows and hats and little shiny black shoes. i couldn't see any weapons, but i knew they didn't need any to hurt me, to rip me apart and feast on my marrow.

without getting up, i reached under the tangled, twisted mess of blankets covering my lower body. i pulled out three blue pearlescent spheres of alien technology. i pressed little buttons on each of them, making them glow with a scintillating blue energy. they pulsed and swirled. jagged arcs of lighting leapt from them making my vision go spotty.

the children at the doorway didn't move. they stood and threatened me with their presence. i tossed all three plasma grenades at them at once. the grenades stuck to some of the kids like spitballs to a chalkboard.... then exploded! little fucker went flying everywhere. some down the hall into the living room, another into john's room and some were just blow to a fine pink paste. it was lovely; it was satisfying.

there was still one child left. on chubby little girl. she remained in place, inexplicably unharmed by my inexplicable grenades. let's explicate shall we? i climbed out of bed, down to the floor and toward the door. the closer i approached to the doorthe taller it, and the girl, became. soon she was an enormous whale of a little cunt. i thought she was going to smoosh me. she reveled in the power that her relative size gave her. she laughed.

then, i became really desperately angry and i was so mad that i grew larger until i was my normal size compared to the little chubster. so i put the bitch in a headlock and punched her in the face til i woke up.

the end.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


amateur high speed photography... link goes to flickr


bored, lonely, full of maggots...

well... not that last one... but i certainly am bored, with no friends to really hang out with.

why so depressed/morose?

my girlfriend started school this week. school is about 500 miles north of here. it's a tough adjustment. we have spent nearly every day together for the last 3 months. we've been inseparable. it's been a very hot and heavy relationship; we're very wrapped up in each other. now that we're apart, each of us is pretty depressed. we agreed (i think) that we could date other people; neither of us is quite ready to date yet (what's with all the semicolons?).

i want to go visit her, but i'm not sure if it's a good idea. it would probably make us both feel better in the short-term, and the sex would be incredible; however, i think it would just drag out this separation depression we're experiencing. GAH! i don't know what to do.

anyway, on to other topics, because if i keep talking about this i will jump out a window; which would be embarrasing because my work has only one floor.

the rave shut down by a swat team in utah with assault rifle and police dogs was pretty ridiculous (previous post).

i read a really cool short comic by warren ellis here (link's on the lefthand side)

john, emmett and i went to the burbank toys'r'us and bought a bunch of board games. there were some tough choices as we were all pitching in for the game(s) and i am poor as all fuck. we narrowed it down to risk, monopoly and connect four. i would like to point out that choosing between those three games is really like choosing between about 20 games. there are untold different versions of monopoly and risk. there's star wars risk, risk 2012, and even risk godstorm (what the fuck?!). monopoly is even more of a licensing whore; it seems that there's a monopoly game for every animated feature or over-licensed movie to come out in the last 50 years. for example: there were shrek, disney, lord of the rings, star wars, deluxe, and 70th anniversary edition monopolys on the shelves at our toys'r'us.

fortunately, our decision was made much easier when emmet rememebered that he had the lord of the rings version of monopoly we decided that connect four was a must have (go for it... connect four!) and i talked john and emmett into getting the collectors tin version of risk, 'cause the tin is big, round and shiny (i'm retarded). then, as we're about to head out (after i bump into lily's friend lennon, who works there) someone (john i think) sees a 3 pack of generic games with something very much like connect four called "inline". it also came with "3d snakes and ladders" and a 'trouble' ripoff whose name i can't recall at the moment. the generic 3 pack cost less than just one connect four, so we purchased that instead. i also bought a pack of green and tan army men for $1.06. they are currently battling to the death on my computer desk at home.

in other news:

greg called last night and told john that he was moving in today. in typical greg fashion he said "i probably should have given you more notice huh?". yes greg, you should have. that's ok though. it just means that he gets to ride the sofa bed until the end of the month when we switch places.

also, i'm doing a piss-poor job of patching the holes in my door. i'll suspend final judgement 'til i've sanded and painted it, but it doesn't look good.

lastly: it seems a sad commentary on my priorities that i can write two thick paragraphs on buying board games, but my personal/relationship woes elicit barely that much.

this is pretty ridiculous

Utah police beat up, use tear gas on, ravers

a friend of mine posted something about this on myspace... i don't know if she was actually at the event or not, but she is a raver.

if i had been there i would call every tv station i knew and try to get on the air.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

hi-o silver...

i lost my silver card case thingy...

last used it on monday.

i've looked everywhere; in my house, in my car.... i have no idea where it is. last time i used it was on monday. it had my atm, my license, social security card and my ralph's card.

so now i have to call every place i've been and see if they have it.


if you've seen it... let me know.


i hate when i lose things.

UPDATE: found it, but i lost my cell phone. and this morning i briefly lost my keys. the fuck?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

out on the street...

well... not yet.

soon maybe.

a week and a half ago, i got a reply from my rental application saying that i couldn't live in my apartment any longer. never mind that i've already been living there and paying rent for 9 months. forget the fact that we have a co-signer with good credit who is willing to sign for me. they want me out of there because my car caused a row with the neighbors a few months back. like they've never seen the word 'cock' on a car before.

so my options are:

1. pretend to move out while someone else moves into my room and i stay on the couch.
pros: lowers my rent considerably, which is good, cause i am poor.
cons: no privacy. which may not be so bad, since the gf is moving away pretty soon. i'll just masturbate when no one is home.

2. get my own place
pros: privacy. and, i can be as slovenly as i like.
cons: 1 br's are more expensive than what i'm paying now and usually shittier.

3. get a 4br place for all of us, including the new roommate.
pros: everyone gets their own bedroom... yay!
cons: everyone would have to move, and from what i've seen, a 4 br is going to cost more per person than our current apartment.

4. live on the street (or in my car)
pros: that freewheeling hobo lifestyle
cons: head lice, no cable.

5. move back to the jerZ
pros: lower cost of living. lots of drinking buddies.
cons: poor quality of life (i.e. the villas). poor future prospects.

i think i'm going to wait around til october to decide exactly what i'm going to do (or not do). i'm strongly tempted to just pack my shit up and go rent a cheap place in the villas or wildwood or someplace, but i don't think i have exhausted my opportunites out here. los angeles sucks big dick for the most part (yeah... i know i'm eloquent... shut it), but it still has a lot to offer (and the girls are of a higher quality than the jerz [though philly girls hold an attraction]).

whatever... i'm going to go read 20 comic books in one sitting.