Thursday, January 26, 2006

gum-fucked


Now my gums know what it's like to fucked like a cheap whore.

If you hadn't already guessed I went to the dentist today. Because I haven't been to a dentist for almost two years, my gums are infectified and covered in nasty plaque, tartar and an entire society of very advanced bacteria who have built a modern city with working lights and plumbing. The treatment for this is two-fold.

Part one is called "root scaling and planing". Translated from dentist talk this means that they jam a sharp metal instrument in between my teeth and gumfuck me for a good half hour. After the first go-round (which I couldn't feel because of the anesthetic) I could see blood all over the doctor's gloves. That fucking scared me a bit. It was also kind of fun. I'm weird like that. After he was done jamming arcane dental instruments into holes I didn't even know I had, he had to scrape shit off my teeth. There is nothing better than the sounds of metal on tooth. It's enough to make me barf. I'm just fucking glad he's not my proctologist... I pay a guy in West Hollywood for that. Speaking of paying...

The second part of the treatment, and the most expensive ($700) is the application of the antibiotics. He had an instrument that he loads with a little plastic container of yellow powdery antibiotic shit into my newly fucked gumholes. Maybe it's just the way my mind works, but it seem pretty fitting that the last part of the procedure was to shoot a load all over the place. Good times.

My lower lip is still numb as hell. I brought KFC from last night into work, but I don't want to eat it until my mouth feels normal. If antibiotics can't kill my city-building mouthbitches then the Colonel's eleven herbs and spices should do the trick.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

art is for suckas

I don't know man. I don't think I'm cut out for this art shit. It's like i need someone to hold my hand. But, this teacher wants to roam free and be all creative. I just don't think I'm all that creative. I don't have that "creative spirit" or whatever you want to call it. Take this project we're doing. We're supposed to be inspired by music, but i don't even know what that means. I haven't even started the project and I'm already disappointed with it. I wish I knew how to relax and just enjoy doing art for the sake of art. Alas, that's another one of those things that boils down to: i just have to do it.

I would like to request a "life tutorial". It'll be kind of like a Photoshop Tutorial, but for living. 'Cause I need some step-by-step kind of help.

~~~~~ windbags ~~~~~

Alright, it is just about time that the Los Angeles press shut the fuck up about these "crazy" Santa Ana winds. It's almost as bad as the local weather reports talking about all the "crazy rain". Crazy rain is known in every other part of the world as a "steady drizzle". Yes, it has been more windy than usually and there have been strong gusts, but it's just fucking wind people. Shut up already!

There have been all these news reports about power lines and trees being knocked down which, on a slow newsday, are newsworthy. But, the real story should be about why power lines are being knocked down. I've been through some wicked nor'easters back home that didn't cause as many power outages as some fucking stiff California breezes. What the fuck? Those storms had actual rain and lighting.

Now someone reading this (not that anyone does) might say "These are pretty strong winds Chris." Oh yeah? There is a fucking large cardboard box out front that hasn't moved a damn inch in two days. Strong winds my ass. I open the windows because they provide some good circulation to clear out some boy-apartment mustiness. So just shut the fuck up about it already.

fuck yeah!



from wikipedia's list of films ranked by uses of the word fuck

file under: things that are not healthy

staring at your ex's myspace page at 1 am.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

deviantART: Your Journal

Job 2, Electric Boogaloo

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 21, 2006, 12:28 AM
Had my interview at Spectral Motion today. It was very cool. It was a small unobtrusive place on Dana St. in Glendale among some small warehouses and other commercial buildings. I met with Brian Walsh who was a pretty cool, chill dude. He didn't exude that "hollywood" or "crew guy" vibe that really turns me off. Everyone there seemed to be some sort of artist, sculptor, or illustrator.

Brian (possible Bryan) took a look at my portfolio. He didn't seem overly impressed. I'm sure he's seen a lot better. Then again, he didn't puke his guts up all over it and yell "Get this tripe out of here you hack!" He gave me an idea of what I should focus on if i want to design for creature effects.

After my portfolio, I toured their place. It wasn't large, but there was a lot of cool shit going on. All kinds of cool models, maquettes, masks, suits, statues, drawings and other fun toys (eat hot sentence fragment!). There were a lot of Hellboy and Fantastic Four items and some cool things from other projects that I can't tell anyone about because I signed a non-disclosure agreement. I'd hate to have a career opportunity ruined because of the one in a million chance that someone from SM stumbled on this page.

He asked me to call him back in a few weeks. Hopefully I'll have something a little more up their alley then. Oh, and they gave me info on a sculpture class that might be cool. So, the final result is... wait and see. And, work hard I guess.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

It's Like That Scene from "Alien"

I never remember that I should not buy a Carl's Jr. six dollar burger when I'm hungry. After scarfing down the 12oo calorie bitch I feel like I've got a xenomorph (aka Alien) about to punch through my abdomen. But, it's SO good. The guacamole bacon burger is freaking awesome. CJ's chocolate shake (or malt, I don't know the difference) is tasty as well. That meal is gonna have me dropping a fat fucking blog at work (nothing better than getting paid to take a shit).

Speaking of the word "blog", I'm glad that I'm not the only person who thinks that word "blog" is the worst invention of the decade. I read a *sigh* blog today that agreed with what I thought since I first found out the meaning of the word. It said the word "blog" doesn't really mean anything. When people say "blog" what they mean is "writing" and once the novelty of "blogging" wears off it will be incorporated into the wider realms of journalism and writing in general. Also, it really does sounds like an onomatopoiea (yeah I had to look up the spelling) for taking a dump.

Anyway, on to other things. Last night I attended my Illustration class for the first time. The teacher, Rob Clayton (who is semi-famous apparently), seemed pretty chill. Maybe he's a little too chill. I was expecting this class to be really structured, but he seems to be all about "expression" and "experimentation". That's fine if you know what the hell you're doing, but I just know i'm going to be totally lost. Still, I'm going to give it a chance. Our first project is for each of us to select three CD's: one we love, one we hate, and one we've never heard. Then, we listen to them and use them as inspiration. Sounds pretty fruity to me, but I'll see what I can do.

Tracey (who gradjeeated from Art Center) told me that the Claytons are really good instructors but are really into the experimental side of things. Her recommendation was to keep their class, but to ask a lot of question. So, I'm going to stick with it and just be a real pest to the teacher in hopes of learning something.

Yeah mothafuckas!


Today also happens to be comic book day. It was a good comic book week. Infinite Crisis #4 may have redeemed the series. Planetary 24 was good, mostly because it made me look forward to the next one. Also, things exploded. Runaways was ok. BKV is almost never bad, but i'm looking forward to the next arc and I hope it reveals more about the new Pride. Anyhow, I'm all dorked out. Besides, I'm trying to talk my way into someone's pants right now. (okay, type my way in... whatever).

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Beginning of Weekly Nothingness

Ah, what to talk about?

It's been three months since my last whiny confession. I'm still not over Lily. I'm really not allowed to whine about it, since it's my fault we broke up. Certainly, I could write a few pages about that, but I'll just leave it at that for now.

Working as a file-monkey is not so bad. It's a job just like any other, mind-numbing and dull. It pays the bills though. Now if I could only save some small amount of money, I'd be sitting pretty. But, it seems like every time I have a little extra money some circumstance swoops down and takes it away. In December I had a $400 speeding ticket (when visiting Lily). This month I registered for an Art Center class for $725. Yesterday my new dentist told me I have periodontal disease and the treatment for it is going to be over $1000. Granted, I could have avoided all these chareges by not speeding, not trying to improve my art and letting my teeth fall out (or brushing properly, but whatever). Also, I blew over $300 on art supplies on
Saturday. I guess I'm just a slave of the capitalist system. I could live in the woods and subsist on whatever I can gather or hunt. I'd live by my own wits. I'd be dead in days. At least I wouldn't get parking tickets.

So, as mentioned above, I'm taking a weekly class at Art Center in Ye Olde Pasadena. It's titled "Introduction to Illustration" which really gives me no idea what the class will be about. If it's challenging it's worth the cash. I just hope I'm not required to do a lot of photoshop/illustrator shit at home, 'cause my pc sucks ass. Anyway, the night class thing is leading up to making a sweet portfolio to either go get into an illustration degree program or to get a real job. "Real" meaning a job that I enjoy doing and that pays well. I can't be a bum for the rest of my life right? Right? Eh... fuck you.

Speaking of a jobby job, I (supposedly) have an interview at a place called Spectral Motion. They're a special effects shop that mostly does creature effects. They did Abe Sapien and some of the other monsters for "Hell Boy". I think they're looking for a conceptual artist. I may fit the bill, but I don't think so. It's worth a try though. I've started a million sketches, but I haven't finished anything yet (check it here in the scraps section). I need to finish as much as I can over the weekend and just hope to god they don't laugh at me when I go in for the interview. I hate how much of an embarrassing ordeal life can be.

That's it for today. Time to do the office mail and then take off. Later kids.