Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Intro to Frustration


I'm Chris. I'm in your Tuesday night Intro to Illustration class, the kid with the plugs who had his hand over his face. Basically, I'm totally frustrated.

I didn't just take this class on a whim. I really wanted to learn about illustration. This class is two months rent for me (or 6 months of groceries, seven months of gas, a year of cell phone bills, etc.). A friend of mine (and Art Center) alumnus recommended I take a night class at Art Center. I had reservations from week 1, when Rob told us that the class would be very "freeform". I told my same friend about my frustrations with my own process and the class and she said that it was worth it to stick with you guys because you're really excellent. I decided to at least stay until you took over, just to see, but looking at your first assignment I'm ready to drop it completely.

I'm not attempting criticize you guys or your class. Rob was very upfront about the structure and content of the class. The problems are mine. I was expecting/looking for a different type of class but I guess I thought I would be able to learn something anyway. So far, all that I have learned is that trying to produce something as an assignment without really specific requirements is a really painful, and in the end, unfulfilling experience for me. And, that I really hate showing my art to a group (not to mention reading in front of a group). I'm pretty baffled by this, because drawing and painting has always been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. When there is some sort of expectation attached to art though, I become almost immediately frustrated.

When I look at this assignment sheet, I realize that I can't think of anything that inspires me. I don't collect anything. I don't have any CD's, big book collection, art books, tchotchkes, toys, games, movies or anything. I draw in infrequent spurts and there isn't really any continuity of subject matter. I don't know why I want to make art, I just do. I want to know how and I thought that's what I was going to learn.

So, that's that. Sorry I couldn't talk to you in class, but I would have found it very embarrassing. I'd appreciate any advice you might have about what I should do.

Chris Bennett

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

forgive my sparseness

I haven't written much here in the past couple of weeks, mostly due to the fact that no one reads it (including myself). I started some deep soul-searching thing and abandoned it about a paragraph in. It's in my drafts, so perhaps I will put it up eventually. I think it was going to be about the brief visit with my father and how he has decided to die on his couch, which according to most reports, he has not left in more than 6 months. That makes me feel something, but it's not an emotion I have a name for, so it's very hard to write down, so I won't.
Instead I will tell you that I have a new job working at a place that designs and sells trade show displays. I know that sounds sort of dull, but it involves some amount of drawing and designing both the structures and some of the graphics, which sounds infinitely more satisfying than filing all day. I start the friday after next, or sooner, depending on if they find another file clerk before then.
I called out yesterday because I was too tired/depressed/sore to get out of bed. What are they going to do... fire me? I already quit. I'm like a lame-duck president.
I also stumbled on another social networking/tagging/bootyhunting site called consumating.com. I don't even remember how I found it now. It was probably on someone's blog. I've had two dates from it already and i'm in the top ten most popular men (moving from eighth to tenth and back). It's fun, check it out.
Also, I buzzed all my hair off (see below). I was also growing a beard, but shaved most of that because the ladies don't approve.
I will probably post the short story I wrote for my illustration class. It's a science fiction story and it's terrible and embarrassingly derivative of the Cory Doctorow stories I've been listening to.

man, look at that pimple... that's horrible.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

i'm enjoying this too much...

yeah... so i broke down and bought an ipod. it's the ipod nano, the cheapest ipod with a a screen you can get. what can i say? i'm drunk with financial power with this new credit card. it's a good thing it has such a low limit.

i must say that i'm impressed with how fast it was delivered. i ordered it tuesday and it was in my apartment thursday morning. they even gave me the correct engraving:

(if it's too blurry, it says "consumer whore")