Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Intro to Frustration


I'm Chris. I'm in your Tuesday night Intro to Illustration class, the kid with the plugs who had his hand over his face. Basically, I'm totally frustrated.

I didn't just take this class on a whim. I really wanted to learn about illustration. This class is two months rent for me (or 6 months of groceries, seven months of gas, a year of cell phone bills, etc.). A friend of mine (and Art Center) alumnus recommended I take a night class at Art Center. I had reservations from week 1, when Rob told us that the class would be very "freeform". I told my same friend about my frustrations with my own process and the class and she said that it was worth it to stick with you guys because you're really excellent. I decided to at least stay until you took over, just to see, but looking at your first assignment I'm ready to drop it completely.

I'm not attempting criticize you guys or your class. Rob was very upfront about the structure and content of the class. The problems are mine. I was expecting/looking for a different type of class but I guess I thought I would be able to learn something anyway. So far, all that I have learned is that trying to produce something as an assignment without really specific requirements is a really painful, and in the end, unfulfilling experience for me. And, that I really hate showing my art to a group (not to mention reading in front of a group). I'm pretty baffled by this, because drawing and painting has always been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. When there is some sort of expectation attached to art though, I become almost immediately frustrated.

When I look at this assignment sheet, I realize that I can't think of anything that inspires me. I don't collect anything. I don't have any CD's, big book collection, art books, tchotchkes, toys, games, movies or anything. I draw in infrequent spurts and there isn't really any continuity of subject matter. I don't know why I want to make art, I just do. I want to know how and I thought that's what I was going to learn.

So, that's that. Sorry I couldn't talk to you in class, but I would have found it very embarrassing. I'd appreciate any advice you might have about what I should do.

Chris Bennett

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